Tag: writing

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Where you are vs. where you want to be

A question I’ve been asking myself is where am I and am I where I want to be? Surprisingly for me, I’ve been reading some “self-help” books lately. I’ve never been one to gravitate towards those in the past. However, in light of some severe frustrations and set-backs in my chosen career path, I have come to the realization that I need to take a step back and reevaluate things. As I’ve mentioned, I started writing fiction last summer and I’m really enjoying it. I don’t seem to have the surge of ideas that many authors whose blogs I read (and are linked on my blog roll), but I am finding that more are coming to me as I read for fun and interest and if I simply let my mind wander.

One thing the self-help books mention frequently is gratitude and faith that you can and will figure things out to move your life and life trajectory onto the path that you want and truly enjoy. I’ve been keeping a gratitude journal for about a year now, writing down, at the end of the day, 10 things I’m grateful for that day. I am also consciously reminding myself to be grateful for little things (everything from a good parking spot to a cute dog on my walk to a friendly cashier) as well as the big things (friends, my husband, family). It really does make a difference in my mood and my attitude during the day. I used this technique with relative success last academic year and I will be more mindful about putting it into practice for this coming year (I think it’s going to be necessary!)

I do find myself doubting whether I can pull off this fiction author thing. I tend to procrastinate and that’s been happening lately. However, I can see that the procrastination is being fed by the fear of sticking my neck out, putting the book out to beta readers and then putting it up on Amazon. I am reminded of Marty McFly’s dad in Back to the Future. George McFly has written a sci-fi novel but has not sent it to a publisher because “what if no-one likes it?” he asks Marty. Fear of no-one liking his book means George never sends it out, and therefore never enjoys the success from writing that is in him. I don’t want to be George McFly at the beginning of the movie, I want to be George McFly at the end. When Marty has changed the past so that George sends out his book and it’s a wild success.

To counteract my fears of becoming George McFly the early, I am building a faith that my life as a successful, full-time fiction author is out there waiting for me to arrive. I will send the book out to beta readers in the next week. I will work up the best cover possible and I will figure out all the ins and outs of Amazon Kindle publishing and just get it all done. It will all happen. I know it. It’s all out there just waiting for me!

Let’s go!

Image by Greg Montani from Pixabay

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Life. Damn.

Saturday night my upstairs neighbor died from an overdose of heroin with fentanyl. His mom and girlfriend had spent the afternoon and evening trying to locate him and then, that night, found him dead in the apartment. Absolutely tragic. Our landlord is a neighbor and friend and we ended up spending about two hours outside on the sidewalk drifting between stoops with one of the other upstairs neighbors, and the next-door neighbors. The conversation ranged from the trivial, as we tried to take our minds off of things, to the immediate. Turns out my landlord’s sister died from an overdose and my other neighbor’s brother had serious abuse issues (thankfully still alive). We all thought about family and friends as we watched the mom deal with the sudden (although clearly not unexpected) loss of her son. I thought about how grateful I am that I have not had to deal with this level of addiction in my own family.

Drugs are obviously life-altering in ways both good and bad. Good drugs can cure cancers, overcome diseases, wipe out diseases and allow millions of people to go about their daily lives unencumbered. Bad drugs send people into imagined utopias of no pain and no problems, provide unimaginable highs that require ever higher doses to achieve and maintain all while destroying the brain and body. Drugs and their life-altering affects are often the subject of science fiction stories with outcomes alternating between relieving a dystopian existence or bringing down a utopian one. In the end, all the stories return to the theme that yes, indeed, too much of a good thing can become bad. As with all mind- and body-altering substances there is a required balance. Medical people will often say, the line between cure and poison lies in the dose. But heroin? I’m not sure there is anything but poison there.

Other drugs remind me of snake-oils sold throughout history. Right now, a friend is becoming involved in an MLM selling extremely diluted human growth hormone gel on the argument that it helps you lose weight and repairs a number of other issues associated with aging, etc. She gave me a bottle (which I discovered retails for about $170!!) for me to try. I am extremely leery of anything like that and did a quick bit of research on the active ingredients. My conclusion? Uh, no thanks. Not even going to try it. The attraction of no-work weight loss and getting in shape is huge for many people. The quick fix with no sweat. I want to keep living my life exactly as I do now, just without the belly fat. Well, I would too. However, I know that there is work involved in getting rid of the unwanted belly fat. But, I am unwilling to risk my near- and long-term health for the quick fix. The bottle and a warning about what I found is going back to my friend. I’m hoping she gives this up.

I have a couple stories floating around in my head that involve the sort of “cure-all” drugs that are found in science-fiction and in our current world. What happens when too many people get hooked on the idea that a simple drug can provide the answer to all their problems? What happens when potentially debilitating or even fatal side-effects are ignored or not discovered until much later? Quick weight loss fixes that don’t stop even when you stop taking the drug? Mental and energy enhancements that propel a person beyond human endurance and capabilities? The warnings came as early as “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde”. We need to heed those warnings still.

My apologies for rambling, but this weekend’s activities have put me a bit on edge. The roommate of the late upstairs neighbor has not yet returned from the beach (she does know what happened), and it’s not clear what will happen in the near future for her. I don’t know about you guys, but no way could I continue to live there. It’s been a weird few days. I sincerely hope my late neighbor has found peace.

Image by Johannes Plenio from Pixabay

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Writing in Ireland

I’m visiting my brother who lives in western Ireland. I’m sitting on his back deck looking out at the yard and the pasture and the ponies and the dogs and realizing why exactly Ireland has inspired so many poets and writers. It’s not just the romantic history, castles and what not, but the views, quiet, and landscape right near you no matter where you are. We were walking on the Black Head Loop yesterday with the dogs and while we didn’t really walk up any steep hills, the gain in elevation was astounding. The views of the Atlantic and back into Galway Bay are gorgeous. And awe-inspiring. I’ve only been here acouple of days, but already I’m feeling relaxed and rejuvenated. I am heading home on Tuesday (I know, short trip, but worth it), and I know that I will still feel this peace once I get back (despite the airlines best efforts!)

I haven’t written anything since I got here, this post excepted. However, I’ve got photos and seen names and heard short histories enough to inspire me for a couple more short stories and the second and third books in Academic Magic. (BTW, the rooster crowing from the neighbors just adds to the whole ambience. Even my sister-in-law telling the rooster to shut up.)

If I could sit here, or out in Fanore looking at the ocean, for a week or so, I think I could do a lot of writing. No, summer weather here is not exactly my preferred version of summer, but it’s still nice and still beautiful. I am more of a tropical person, but Ireland in the summer is a good change of pace. Ireland in winter….not really something I want to deal with. Summers though, you can totally see the fae and other stories in the landscape. It’s inspiring and fun. So, to that end, I’m off the computer and heading back to the beach. Enjoy what’s left of the weekend!

Photo is my own. black Head Loop trail.

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Work vs. writing

Yesterday and today I have been trying to get a start on my syllabi for the fall semester as well as keep up with the writing I really want to do. A colleague turn me on to the Pomodoro method. Basically, you work on something, one task, for 25 minutes. Then you take a couple minute break. I get up and walk around, pace around the circle in the office hallway, walk up and down the house, whatever. Every four Pomodoros (about 2 hours), you take about a half hour break. The idea is that you let things float around in your head, and get better insights to whatever you’re working on. It really is amazing. I’m far more productive when I spend my day on the Pomodoro method. Plus, it reminds you to take a break and get up from your chair so you don’t atrophy.

When it comes to dividing my attention between a syllabus and a book, I find it very useful. I do two Pomodors on the syllabus (that includes reading the book, going over notes for assignments, creating assignments, watching videos, anything to do with class prep), then two on the book. This means that I actually get in several hours of productive work. Fan-freaking-tastic! Productivity! Yay!

Seriously, though, I am a world-class procrastinator and this method really does seem to insure that I can avoid that snake pit. Well, as long as I stay away from Facebook….I am working hard on this book and the series. I also have ideas for another series and several short stories. I’m working on them. I will get things sold. I know it. I do wish I could keep going without the looming semester. On the other hand, the semester and its schedule and stresses will require me to be more organized and more productive in a shorter period of time. This is a good thing.

In the meantime, I keep Pomodoro-ing along getting the edits done and the next one written.

Go tackle the week!

Image by Steve Buissinne from Pixabay

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Family and writing

I am on vacation in central Oregon with various family members. This is our annual get-together. We hang out, float the Deschutes river, ride bikes, hike, eat dinner together and generally enjoy each others company and the woods. It’s very relaxing and enjoyable. I just caught myself logging on to my work email and stopped. There’s nothing in there that can’t wait until I get home. So, just stop. The one thing I don’t want to stop is writing, but that gets put aside at times for the outdoors. Which is a good thing. It’s too easy to sit inside and spend a beautiful day in the house. That is not the point of this vacation.

There are a number of story ideas that are coming to me, and I have been writing those down. I plan on working some of these into short stories and a couple would make great longer novellas or even novel length books, and the beginning of a series. I collecting a backlog of story ideas and it’s very exciting. This means I have a lot of material and gives me confidence that I have a good number of stories to tell. The other good thing coming out of this week is that my cousin’s wife is encouraging me all along and telling me to write these ideas down. It feels great to have a cheering section that is more than just my husband. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a great cheerleader and support, but then, he’s my husband. It helps to have somebody who really has no skin in the game to be giving support.

Sometimes family members are less than enthusiastic about things such as writing fiction. “Oh, that’s nice.” “So, are you doing this on the side?” “Is it a real book?” I get it. It’s not what most people consider a “real job”. And, the finances are dicey. One thing I have noticed is that there are (obviously) many similarities with academics. More specifically, the failure to understand that simply because you are not heading into an office or job site every day, that you are still working. I get that a lot. “Oh, well, you’re off for the summer, so can you do this that or the other thing?” No. I can’t. I’m working. It can get annoying, but I’ve learned to either not respond to text messages or answer the phone. That helps a lot. I love my family. I just don’t need them interrupting me all the time!

But again, this week it’s all about family and relaxing…so interrupt away.

We’re off to a short hike and then some quality time at the pool. Enjoy the 4th of July holiday. Happy Independence Day!

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Detours

So, we’ve hit a snag in our escape plans. Shockingly, that snag is money (I know, you’re totally surprised, I was too). Last night hubby and I came to the realization that our initial plans were conceived in anger. Righteous anger, but anger nevertheless. After a long conversation that stretched in fits and starts throughout yesterday and into the night last night, we spotted the detour (finally) and have turned on to it. A detour doesn’t mean our plans have been derailed. Not at all. It means that it will take a bit longer to see them carried out, and the path to carrying them out is not the path we originally started down.

Basically, life happened. Last month another cat died and that cost a good deal of money. The credit cards are stretched for a variety of reasons. And, living on one salary, even in a low cost-of-living state will still be less than easy. But, we have a plan to get around those obstacles. And, so we will continue on. We’ve slept on it and I think that both of us are much more accepting of this change than we perhaps were last night. Sleeping on a problem, letting it float around in your brain, really does help with perspective and with finding solutions or paths to solutions.

I will continue writing and publish my book this summer. Mid-August at the latest. There. It’s out in print. Can’t back down or procrastinate now. The plan change did fire up my motivation to finish. I WILL get this out and I WILL have the second moving by the time the first hits Amazon. My side-hustle will generate real, livable money by the end of the year. That is my promise to myself. I’m not sure how I’ll work it, but I will.

Interesting that all this happened on our 20th anniversary. Almost as if the universe is testing our commitment to each other. Believe me, Universe, that will never waiver. We took vows and we are committed to each other in perpetuity.

So, gimme about six weeks to get the book finished, back from beta readers and up. Keep an eye out here. In the meantime, I’m going to write today, run some errands, and make ready for a weekend house guest. Go enjoy your own weekend all!

Image by sdmacdonaldmiller from Pixabay

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Writing and real life

I was just reading over on Mad Genius Club a post about real life interfering with writing. And, damn does it ever. Clear evidence…I started this post yesterday. Sigh. It’s interfering with fiction writing as well as blog writing. Although, with the blog, I suppose that could be seen as a good thing. I’m not staring at the screen all day. Plus I’m too busy to get all verklempt and angsty over what’s going on in life. I’m just dealing with it.

This week, as I mentioned before, I’ve been editing Book #1. That’s still ongoing and actually going well. The other day, I got tired of editing and went back to find other things I’ve started and ideas I’ve jotted down. There are a lot of them. Who knew I had all these ideas floating around in my head? Not me! I’m grateful I’ve found them. I’m also planning on cleaning up my desk so that I can actually find things and ideas when I want to. What a concept! I have a bad tendency to stash things away where “I’ll remember to go back there” and of course never remember. Today, after this, I will clean the desk and then return to editing and new writing. The new writing in between lets my brain percolate over some of these ideas. I also have to do some housecleaning as a friend is coming up tomorrow for the weekend.

It’s a good month for friends this month. We’ve spent time with local friends at the pop-up beer gardens here. Those are always nice. There’s just something about drinking in a park. Very summer. Last night an old, old friend of mine came over for dinner. He lives in CA, but his mom lives out here so he drops in when he can when he visits her. He and I used to work together in aerospace ages ago. Worst job ever. I got laid off, he managed to skip around just ahead of the layoff fairies. In the end, he resigned. We’ve kept in touch over the years, even after hubby and I moved out here.

Then, a college friend comes up this weekend, and next weekend, a former student who is now a friend comes in for the weekend. Then we’re heading to OR for our annual visit with my family. I’m enjoying all of it and looking forward to all of it. But, it is real life and it does interfere with writing. Oh, well. It’s worth it.

Now, back to the writing! OK, clean the desk first. Sheesh.

Image by Brian Merrill from Pixabay

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Lazy Sunday

Lazy Sunday afternoons are great. Until you start feeling guilty that you aren’t doing anything. But, really, a good sluggish Sunday can be rejuvenating and even fun. I was up at 6:30 so that must count for some level of activity? Right? We did go for a long up upriver this morning (late morning really), so maybe “lazy” isn’t quite accurate. Following my general process of writing something or at least doing something related to writing every single day has been eye-opening. The more you do something, and discover you’re actually pretty good at it (or at least don’t suck at it, as is my case), the more fun it gets and the more time you want to spend on it. Okay, so maybe cleaning the bathroom doesn’t fall into that category, but I wasn’t thinking about odious chores. I was thinking more along the lines of ‘things I like to do or want to do’.

We had a long conversation about process vs. goals on our walk. I’ve talked about this before, but it is so relevant to my life these days that I keep coming back to it. Writing isn’t a goal. It’s a process. Through the process of writing and revising and editing, I will have a completed book. And, it will be good. I have bought into this notion that life improves when you look at a process for getting and staying healthy, getting and staying financially comfortable (however you define that), getting and staying happy (not just content, but happy). Mike just sent me a link to an interview with Nick Saban (winningest college football coach). And he talked about how he impressed on his players that their job is to run the route, know what they’re supposed to be doing each play, and do that. If everybody on the entire team does their job every play, they will win football games. It’s that simple What’s not simple is keeping everyone doing their jobs. Quarterbacks get rattled and step out of the box a few counts before their supposed to, wide receivers think they see a chance to play the hero and miss the catch instead. Saban said his goal isn’t winning football games, it’s making sure that everybody is doing their job and doing it correctly. After that, the game will take care of itself.

Process not goals.

Process means that if you hit a snag or bump in the road, or fall down or whatever, you simply get up, figure out what happened, and keep following your process. Part of the process is learning from your mistakes and failures. What went wrong there? Why? How can I avoid having that happen in the future? Or if unavoidable, how can I mitigate the effects? What makes me happy? What do I need to do to get there? At the very least, what is making me unhappy and how can I eliminate that thorn from my life.

It’s not all going to happen at once, but if you take things one issue at a time, you will be surprised at how success there will generate good feelings and keep you moving through your process towards even greater success in all things. Above all, be sure to acknowledge gratitude for those things or areas in life that are doing just peachy. I can say from experience that expressing gratitude leads to more things to be grateful for. A virtuous circle is created.

One of the ways I’ve managed to make my life happier and less stressed is to stop watching or reading or obsessively following the news. It simply stresses me out and for about 99.999% of it, there’s nothing I can do to change the situation. So, why stress about it. One of the best ways to stop obsessing over the news and/or politics, for me, is to stay off of Facebook. I allow myself 2 days a week to go on to FB. I keep in touch with a number of people I know in real life and with whom I want to stay connected. Twice a week allows me to see what they’re doing, respond, chat, etc. Then bail out until the next FB day. This has reduced my procrastination significantly and lowered my stress levels as well. I can highly recommend it!

So, a lazy Sunday afternoon is not a bad thing. I will read Janice Hardy’s book on writing conflict and continue editing my own book. It’s all part of the process of working at something writing related every day.

Enjoy the rest of your Sunday!

Image by Jörn Heller from Pixabay

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In Defense of All We Hold Dear

I just posted a short story…it’s free! In Defense of All We Hold Dear was inspired by my Memorial Day visit to Washington Crossing National Cemetery. It’s an…well, I don’t think I’ll tell you. It’s more fun that way. I’m curious to hear what folks think, so please do leave comments if you are so inclined. I just ask that you don’t get rude or unnecessarily nasty. The link is here or above in the main menu. Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoy it!

Image by Pete Linforth from Pixabay

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Writing and Procrastination

Yesterday’s post was rambling and a tad incoherent. Today’s post comes to you courtesy of my HUMONGOUS ability to procrastinate. I should be typing out a chapter, but instead I’m typing out this post. Although, I can justify this by saying writing is writing. And, (this is actually accurate), writing here does allow my mind to digest and think over what I need to write for the book and it allows my characters to catch their collective breath and figure out how to tell me what they’re doing and thinking.

I am simultaneously scared and excited for the future. I found myself, again, last night wringing my hands while trying to explain to my husband why I needed him to move faster on the job hunt. He’s doing the best that he can and I should not put any more pressure on him. I have learned that I have the insanely powerful ability to get him to drop everything and make sure that I am happy and or safe. That is a great deal of power and misuse leads to overly stressful reactions on his part. I cannot do that to him. I love him to much to destroy his health and well-being.

So, today, I’m writing here. I must get myself into the right frame of mind for writing a chapter. I’m petrified of not writing and having this go by the wayside. I know that I am the one with the power to decide if it goes by the wayside or if it becomes what I know it will become…a good book in a good series that gives people some small means of escape and a bit of fun along the way.

I feel like I’m heading into the large, dark, unknown wood. Well, I am. I’ve never relied solely on my skills to make a living. I mean, I’ve had jobs (obviously), but this requires me to make my own schedule, set my own rules, be my own supervisor, and generally be in charge of everything. There’s no complaining about bosses or administrators or management. I’m all those people. I truly have nobody and nothing to blame by myself. Abso-freaking-lutely frightening.

OK, then. Into the woods we go! It’s not quite as dark as I’d imagined. Look! There’s a path!

Image by Johannes Plenio from Pixabay