Tag: work

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Lions, and tigers, and bears, oh my!

Lions, tigers, and bears all seem to appear at this time of year. The metaphors, at least. Work and its associated stresses, time sinks, and general all-around malaise (nothing screams malaise quite like students and faculty at the end of the semester. Everybody just wants it to END NOW!) make for a large pride of lions; each on stalking you and creating at best worry, at worst fear. The general stresses of the holiday season, combined with less than mild world news (looking at Hong Kong) become that tiger stalking in the jungle; you never know when something is going to jump out from its hiding place and attack. Finally, not writing enough for my own satisfaction, never mind keeping up with NaNoWriMo, is the hibernating bear (my muse and brain cells are apparently on extended holiday); can’t quite seem to wake up and not sure you want to.

I am REALLY looking forward to the end of the semester, even though there are a whole host of other things waiting for me at the end. But, those things/plans/events are things that I want to deal with and work on. Even the trip to Europe with my students. We have plane tickets and a place to stay for the first 2/3 of the trip. The rest is easily taken care of, so I can simply look forward to watching my students explore and experience the simulation, catch up with well-respected and liked colleagues, and enjoy good beer and food.

Writing? Well, yesterday I read a whole new book. Which is OK, because it’s in the urban fantasy genre and it’s a renewal of a series I really like. Got some interesting ideas and learned more about pacing, scene writing, and character arcs. So, that does count as work. Today, we tackle yard work (leaves from the neighbor’s tree are finally all down), and some other pre-Thanksgiving chores and then it’s supposed to rain. That’s when I will go back to the writing. I owe a short-story by mid-February and I have to keep going on book #2 in my series. I also have to gently poke my beta readers for book #1 so that I can get that out.

Also in the line of work, I’m figuring out how to license images and covers, the ins and outs of converting to a Kindle Unlimited format and all those details. I’ve created covers for all three books already since that makes me feel like the books exist and I just have to fill in the space in between the front and back covers. I’ve found that this is similar to my process of writing academic articles. There, I just blast in and write out the whole thing, dumping in notes for citations, place holders for data tables etc. For me, even if I end up dumping 10 of 25 pages and writing an additional 15 pages, that’s OK because it’s editing, not original writing. Psychologically, there’s a world of difference between writing and editing. Writing is facing a blank page and trying to organize your thoughts and ideas into something comprehensible and (in the case of fiction) entertaining. Editing is looking at a finished product and tweaking things so it smooths out. Yes, it’s more complex than that, but that imagery is what I use and it works to keep me moving forward.

I did mean to write yesterday. I had all intentions of doing so. But, I think the meeting I had on campus at 8:00 a.m. kind of ripped it all out of me. Not really an excuse, but an explanation (OK, so I feel better telling myself that). But, I did read and did make note of interesting structural bits in the book. Like I said, that does count and I’m not just saying that for an excuse. If you don’t read, you can’t know what makes one story work and another one bomb.

So, I’m off to rake leaves, run errands, and then write. The cat will really enjoy the writing bits as I tend to sit on the couch and he sleeps beside me, keeping an eye on my work and whereabouts.

Enjoy the weekend!

Image by Michael Siebert from Pixabay

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What counts as work?

What counts as work? I’ve been struggling with this for a while now. I tend to avoid doing the school work/class prep in favor of writing. But, when I sit down to write I find myself doing a host of other things. However, it may not be all wasted time and procrastination. I read something the other day (yes, this will count as work, you’ll see) that mentioned that even reading something counted as work because if you discover, while reading, a good or bad way to write dialog or a scene, then you’ve accomplished something. Or, reading history allows you to better craft your world(s). In my case, I sat down and read a book sent to me by a guy needing beta readers. I learned a lot in my afternoon of reading. I learned more about how to describe a location, how to write a fight scene. I also learned how NOT to write some things. I saw descriptions that became boring. I read conversations that went on just thatmuch too long. I learned more about writing by reading.

OK, so reading counts. What else? Well, the obvious. Outlining a new or the next book or series. I spent some time yesterday looking at notes and was pleasantly surprised at what I’ve put down and reminded that I do have a number of good ideas. Working on covers is another one. Oooh! Covers! Yes, there is the tangible output everybody looks for. If I can show a rough cover to my husband at the end of the day, then I’ve accomplished work. I like messing with covers because it doesn’t feel like work. It feels like playing around. Scrolling through photos, reading about how to change/adapt/use those photos. How to make the text just so. How to figure out which font. Finding just the right font. All of that counts as work.

Switching back to class prep/grading. Yes, this counts as well. It obviously counts for the day job. But, it also counts for the writing/author job. It counts because while I try to do all of it while on campus, that doesn’t always happen. It counts for the writing/author job because I have to get it done. If it’s not done, I cannot work on the writing. Yes, I use the fiction writing and other author work as a reward for finishing the tasks related to committee work, class prep and other things day-jobby. Which reminds me…gotta finish counting general education courses next week (the fun just never stops).

The last thing I count as work is meditation and time spent letting ideas marinate. Meditation helps me lower stress levels (day job brings A LOT of that), and lets ideas float through and around my brain. Even (OK, this is last), writing on this blog counts as work. As I write down my processes, questions, brain waves, frustrations, etc. I find that oftentimes I am able to figure out answers or solutions. This is akin to meditation, but a bit more active. It counts because it moves me forward on the path of my choosing.

If it is in furtherance of the direction I want to head then it counts as work.

Image by rawpixel from Pixabay

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Rough week

We got back from Oregon on Monday after a red-eye flight. Hubby had to go to work on Monday morning after we got home. That totally sucks. I’m very grateful that I didn’t have to do anything more demanding than walk down to Whole Foods and figure out things for dinner for the next two nights. And, I even managed to work in some book editing. Win-win!

So, we noodled through the rest of the week. I had to spend 4 hours at Mazda getting the car serviced and updated for the next year’s registration/inspection. Yay. I didn’t expect to spend four hours there, but I did get a lot of work done, so I’m grateful for that. I’m certain that I would not have spent a straight four hours working if I had been sitting at home. So, I got that going for me.

The cats were following me around the house this week as well. It’s difficult to get work done when a cat insists on leaning on your arm and wrist so you can’t use that hand. I get it. We lost Fritz a couple of weeks before we left, then we were gone for 10 days. So, I was followed around the house. The rough part came on Friday night. We were sitting watching TV when Flash fell over in a seizure. Before we could even process that, he died. Two cats gone in two months. This totally sucks. Crystal, the now only-cat, is 17 years old. We’re seriously willing her to hang on for at least another year. I don’t think I can take it if I lose another (and the last) cat int he next couple of months. I think my stress levels would go through the roof. Definitely don’t need that.

One of the other things I did last week was head into campus to have lunch with our summer research group. The benefit to that was seeing people I like and haven’t seen in a couple of months. The downside was being on campus brought back all the stress I thought I had left behind. I was reminded in blinding color about my failed attempt to get promoted, as well as the frustrations of taking students abroad. When I got home and started going over things I needed to do, I found myself having those conversations we all wish we could have in real life. For me, these are not stress-relievers, but rather stress- increasers. I really don’t like it when I catch myself responding to issues that are either over, or have been shoved aside. It tells me I’m not happy with the outcome, but at the same time, there’s not a lot, if anything, I can do about the outcome. I’m just chewing on it. Not a good thing. This is one big reason I don’t want to stay in academia. Where I used to feel excited and that I could make a difference in the lives of students or at least expose them to new ideas and concepts, now I just get stressed thinking about how many ways the administration can make those things extremely difficult if not impossible to carry out.

So, yeah. We’re hear for another year. I’ll figure out my EU sim trip when necessary. I’ll deal with things as they come up. Hubby has promised that this time next year we will be out of Philly and somewhere else. That sounds very good to me. My first book will be available on Amazon Kindle Unlimited in August. I promise. Meanwhile, I am going to edit, finish the book, send it to beta readers, prep my classes, keep writing, and keep moving forward.

Have a good week, everybody. Go out and move forward!

Image by Karen Arnold from Pixabay

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Writing and Procrastination

Yesterday’s post was rambling and a tad incoherent. Today’s post comes to you courtesy of my HUMONGOUS ability to procrastinate. I should be typing out a chapter, but instead I’m typing out this post. Although, I can justify this by saying writing is writing. And, (this is actually accurate), writing here does allow my mind to digest and think over what I need to write for the book and it allows my characters to catch their collective breath and figure out how to tell me what they’re doing and thinking.

I am simultaneously scared and excited for the future. I found myself, again, last night wringing my hands while trying to explain to my husband why I needed him to move faster on the job hunt. He’s doing the best that he can and I should not put any more pressure on him. I have learned that I have the insanely powerful ability to get him to drop everything and make sure that I am happy and or safe. That is a great deal of power and misuse leads to overly stressful reactions on his part. I cannot do that to him. I love him to much to destroy his health and well-being.

So, today, I’m writing here. I must get myself into the right frame of mind for writing a chapter. I’m petrified of not writing and having this go by the wayside. I know that I am the one with the power to decide if it goes by the wayside or if it becomes what I know it will become…a good book in a good series that gives people some small means of escape and a bit of fun along the way.

I feel like I’m heading into the large, dark, unknown wood. Well, I am. I’ve never relied solely on my skills to make a living. I mean, I’ve had jobs (obviously), but this requires me to make my own schedule, set my own rules, be my own supervisor, and generally be in charge of everything. There’s no complaining about bosses or administrators or management. I’m all those people. I truly have nobody and nothing to blame by myself. Abso-freaking-lutely frightening.

OK, then. Into the woods we go! It’s not quite as dark as I’d imagined. Look! There’s a path!

Image by Johannes Plenio from Pixabay

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Reaching the finish line

Grading is DONE! Let the whinging begin! Well, I haven’t submitted final grades yet, and I won’t until about 24 hours before they’re due. It cuts down on the whinging. That’s when I also put on the “out of office” auto-reply on my email.

I’ve already had one request for an improved grade with the addition of post-semester extra credit. Really? After the semester is over you’re asking for extra credit? If you’re so worried about your scholarship, perhaps that should have been a consideration…oh, I don’t know…at the beginning of the semester? Maybe? Then I had one question as to whether the grade included the legit extra credit. Then I had one request for permission for late submission of a reflection paper. That one, if I had to guess, is fear of losing the ROTC scholarship. All of that is prior to final grades getting posted. We use Canvas, a so-called “learning management system” for classes. It allows for electronic submission, embedding videos, etc. It also shows grades and it calculates the current grade for students. So, when I posted the results for their last exam, they all figured that what Canvas calculated was their final grade. This, even though they know that is not the final grade. It may be close, but that’s not it.

Oh, well. It’s done. I’ll go back intermittently to do some spring cleaning of my office. I’ve been doing it on an off for the last week or so and finding absolute relics of stuff! 20-year old overheads! Overheads! Grad school papers, and today, draft copies of my dissertation. Oh, joy. It’s all getting recycled. Next week I tackle the filing cabinet! Pray for me!

So, for the rest of the week, I’m writing, editing, and reading. My own stuff, not freshman writing. My stress levels are already considerably lower. The prospect of another beer garden outing on Saturday makes it all even better!

Go do things that make you happy!

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Pivoting

So, I’ve been slacking on writing this blog for about a month. It’s been an interesting and enlightening month. After our trip to Punta Cana, both of us have been doing a lot of introspection and discussion as to what we want to do and where we want to be. Things at work have become more poisonous (if possible). I’ve discovered things about people that I would have been happier not knowing. Although, if I didn’t know, I’d probably get caught in the crossfire. Along with the national issues within higher education, the local poison has driven me away from academia. Hubby is looking for another job somewhere closer to northern California where both of our families live. However, we will go wherever he finds a job that he wants.

Along those lines, I’ve been reading a lot about vocations, jobs, living your best life and all that. When I started writing I had the idea that I would pivot to writing full time and then eventually create a non-profit for teaching literacy to adults. I still want to do something like that. But, now I’m thinking I’ll start by volunteering for a literacy program first (baby steps, ya know). But, then I read about just going for it. Fear be damned. It’s already scary thinking about going with only one salary. But, we’ve done it before when I first started teaching. Lots of pivots in this journey.

Pivots are what it’s all about. I just finished reading “The Art of Work” by Jeff Goins (I don’t know him and I’m not paid by him or his publishing company, I just read his book). He uses the term pivot (from basketball), and I like it. It describes perfectly what you do when you are or feel you are, pinned in one place. You can always pivot and face a different direction which opens up different options for you.

People will tell me I’m crazy to give up a tenured position. Who in their right mind gives up a job you can’t get fired from? Only lunatics, right? Well, no. I now understand what my father meant when he asked me if I really wanted to have a tenured job. He was worried. I laughed. I could quit any time, I told him. Tenure worked totally in my favor. What he was worried about is what I realized in the last year or so. Tenure is a two-way trap. Yes, I can leave, but that means giving up a guaranteed job. THAT is a very scary proposition. But staying means playing by rules that are bent, broken, and completely manipulated by those who would control others. Tenure means feeling trapped and thus becoming willing or resigned to, sucking up all kinds of abuse and futile gestures. That becomes not only demoralizing, but soul-killing.

So, unable to keep moving forward in the current direction, I will pivot. It’s scary, fun, exciting, unknown. Let’s do this!

Image: Pixabay

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Friday Thoughts: Attitudes

For a while now, I’ve been trying to make sure that I arrive at work in a good frame of mind. When I manage it, the day is definitely brighter and more productive. There are times when I arrive and begin my day feeling pretty good and optimistic, and then something happens to wreak my carefully created mindset. An email from administration or a student or the dean or simply hearing some news about a program/project on campus. Pretty much anything that brings reality crashing in too early can wreck a mood immediately. I have one colleague who is very good at maintaining a sense of optimism and hope in the face of things that appear to spell doom. I am trying to follow her example and maintain an optimistic, or at least not totally pessimistic, attitude.

Granted, this is all work-related and does not affect the rest of the world outside of campus. Nevertheless, it winds up indirectly (and sometimes directly) affecting my life and tends to create a negative cascading affect. This cascading effect then leads to me having a bad attitude towards work (as I do recognize the source of the bad mood), which means I don’t want to go in the next day, or I spend the next day phoning it in. Neither of these are useful attitudes, nor do they help to make me feel any better.

This week was not a particularly bad week. I gave exams on Tuesday and Wednesday, which meant I only had to teach one class Monday, and the usual load of three on Thursday. Pretty easy, and not nearly as tiring, compared to a normal week. But, it was also one of those weeks where a number of threads and pieces of information came together and a more complete picture started to form. This is not a pretty picture and foretells of more chaos in the coming weeks and months.

However, I’ve managed to maintain my good attitude towards work. Why? Well, the picture that is taking shape is reminding me and emphasizing for me that I am making the right decisions going forward. In fact, I feel like I will be followed by others. Still others will remain trapped of their own volition (tenure tends to remove your ability to recognize when you should jump ship).

So, my attitude today is one of refining my route and moving forward along it. I will keep moving forward and work at keeping my attitude positive and resilient.

Go have a positive weekend!

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Friday Thoughts: Oops, I did it again

Totally didn’t get to my morning post. Still writing syllabi like a fiend. Oh, hey. What if a fiend really did write syllabi? What would those look like? Hmmmmm. Must. Work. On. Syllabi. Must. Not. Get. Distracted….

Seriously, back to work. More later.