Feeling thankful

Yeah, I know. Yet another post about being thankful. They do crop up this time of year. But, I’m taking it a little differently this year (at least I think I am). For over a year now, at the end of the day, I’ve been writing down 10 things I’m grateful for that day. It’s been everything from my husband (every minute of every day), my family, a fan-freaking-tastic parking spot out front, my cats (we lost three this year and one moved in with us, so it’s been an interesting year in terms of felines), my students, my colleagues, the sunny day, getting out to walk, whatever. I started doing this because I read several different pieces that discussed the creation of well-being and positive attitude that comes with deliberate recognition of what you’re grateful for. You know, beyond the yadda yadda of course I’m grateful for my husband. The idea here is to recognize and think about all the little things that crossed your path that day that did indeed make it a little better, or brighter even if only for that moment. The small child who smiles at you and waves, the dog who is so happy you scritched her ears, the chance encounter with your neighbors, that sort of thing.

So, this Thanksgiving week, I’m grateful for all the usual things, friends, family, my health, etc. But looking back on what I’ve written down for the last year plus, I’m very grateful I started consciously thinking about all those small, daily occurrences that make the moment or the day just thatmuch nicer and brighter.

To illustrate: I just got back from picking up our turkey at Whole Foods. I waffled between walking and driving. I’m lucky enough that the store is an easy 15-20 minute walk. But, I’d be bringing back a 15 lb. turkey. And, we don’t have one of those granny carts. So, I decided to drive. My initial thoughts were, OK, this isn’t as bad as I expected, even with all the set up for the Thanksgiving Day parade (oh, yeah, we’re in detour central for that thing). Those initial thoughts were very quickly trampled. I quick ducked off the street I was on and meandered my way back down towards the store. Grateful I know the sneaky routes. Success! After dealing with some twat who was blocking the parking garage entrance (grateful for the patience levels I’ve achieved), I got into the store. Got my turkey. Grateful for the nice woman who’s job it was today to deal with that. Got my cider. Grateful for the funny woman at the checkout. Got back home easily, and yes, grateful for the kick-ass parking spot. And, finally, grateful I do not have to go back out into the chaos that is Philadelphia today. If I do, I will walk and I’m grateful that walking is an option. I’m also grateful that the current, and sole remaining cat, Max, is happy that I’m sitting next to him on the couch writing this post.

I’m also grateful that we can host and have our friends over for our “orphans Thanksgiving.” And, last but never least, I’m grateful I have five days off of work, lots of time for writing, and only one week left in the semester. Whoo-hoo!

What are you grateful for today?

Happy Thanksgiving!

Image by Ulrike Leone from Pixabay

Life. Damn.

Saturday night my upstairs neighbor died from an overdose of heroin with fentanyl. His mom and girlfriend had spent the afternoon and evening trying to locate him and then, that night, found him dead in the apartment. Absolutely tragic. Our landlord is a neighbor and friend and we ended up spending about two hours outside on the sidewalk drifting between stoops with one of the other upstairs neighbors, and the next-door neighbors. The conversation ranged from the trivial, as we tried to take our minds off of things, to the immediate. Turns out my landlord’s sister died from an overdose and my other neighbor’s brother had serious abuse issues (thankfully still alive). We all thought about family and friends as we watched the mom deal with the sudden (although clearly not unexpected) loss of her son. I thought about how grateful I am that I have not had to deal with this level of addiction in my own family.

Drugs are obviously life-altering in ways both good and bad. Good drugs can cure cancers, overcome diseases, wipe out diseases and allow millions of people to go about their daily lives unencumbered. Bad drugs send people into imagined utopias of no pain and no problems, provide unimaginable highs that require ever higher doses to achieve and maintain all while destroying the brain and body. Drugs and their life-altering affects are often the subject of science fiction stories with outcomes alternating between relieving a dystopian existence or bringing down a utopian one. In the end, all the stories return to the theme that yes, indeed, too much of a good thing can become bad. As with all mind- and body-altering substances there is a required balance. Medical people will often say, the line between cure and poison lies in the dose. But heroin? I’m not sure there is anything but poison there.

Other drugs remind me of snake-oils sold throughout history. Right now, a friend is becoming involved in an MLM selling extremely diluted human growth hormone gel on the argument that it helps you lose weight and repairs a number of other issues associated with aging, etc. She gave me a bottle (which I discovered retails for about $170!!) for me to try. I am extremely leery of anything like that and did a quick bit of research on the active ingredients. My conclusion? Uh, no thanks. Not even going to try it. The attraction of no-work weight loss and getting in shape is huge for many people. The quick fix with no sweat. I want to keep living my life exactly as I do now, just without the belly fat. Well, I would too. However, I know that there is work involved in getting rid of the unwanted belly fat. But, I am unwilling to risk my near- and long-term health for the quick fix. The bottle and a warning about what I found is going back to my friend. I’m hoping she gives this up.

I have a couple stories floating around in my head that involve the sort of “cure-all” drugs that are found in science-fiction and in our current world. What happens when too many people get hooked on the idea that a simple drug can provide the answer to all their problems? What happens when potentially debilitating or even fatal side-effects are ignored or not discovered until much later? Quick weight loss fixes that don’t stop even when you stop taking the drug? Mental and energy enhancements that propel a person beyond human endurance and capabilities? The warnings came as early as “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde”. We need to heed those warnings still.

My apologies for rambling, but this weekend’s activities have put me a bit on edge. The roommate of the late upstairs neighbor has not yet returned from the beach (she does know what happened), and it’s not clear what will happen in the near future for her. I don’t know about you guys, but no way could I continue to live there. It’s been a weird few days. I sincerely hope my late neighbor has found peace.

Image by Johannes Plenio from Pixabay

Winding down the year

We got back from California this morning after a red-eye flight from San Francisco. It was a direct flight, so not as bad as previous trips. I think I actually managed to sleep on this flight and I’m grateful for that.

There are a number of things I’m grateful for as this year winds down. I’ve been keeping a gratitude journal; trying to make sure each day I write down 10 things I’m grateful for. There are a couple things that appear every day. I’m always and forever grateful for my husband. I totally won the lottery in that category. I’m always grateful for the purrs and snuggles of our cats. I’m grateful for my health (cliched I know, but I am). My point here is that I did not keep the journal while we were traveling. So, this post is a sort of catch up on gratitude for the last 10 days.

I’m grateful:

  • that we got to visit our families
  • that we got to peek behind the metaphorical curtain that is covering some of the family tension (it was enlightening and for that I’m grateful).
  • we got to walk on the beach on Saturday
  • we had easy travel days
  • we got to eat a lot of good food.
  • that we spent quality time with my cousin and his wife
  • that I got to spend time with my favorite cousin who is a sister and best friend to me.
  • I got to have lunch with my best friend from college.
  • And, maybe most of all, I’m grateful that I get to sit here on my own couch, surrounded by snoozing cats, while I write this.

So, a very happy, healthy, and enlightening new year to everybody. May 2019 bring you much joy and fun living.

Image ©Rebecca Jones, 2018